People with prosopagnosia are likely to have found a number of different ways of coping with challenging social situations.
This might include covering up the lack of recognition, careful manoeuvring in social gatherings or even finding alternative ways to recognise people. However, none of these are foolproof.
In addition, as awareness of prosopagnosia is increasing more people are starting to explain their difficulties to others. A mix of approaches is likely to work best for most people.
Below we’ve brought together the experiences of members in navigating everyday life with face blindness. Face Blind UK has also produced a series of factsheets for Employees and Employers, Friends and Families, Parents and Teachers, and Health Professionals.
Covering Up
The danger of appearing rude or seeming not to value a relationship means that prosopagnosics often cover up the fact that they don’t recognise the other person. Strategies include:
- Smiling at everyone, just in case!
- Appearing to be distracted, daydreaming, deep in thought etc as you walk down the road or into a restaurant
- Blaming a lack of glasses, contact lenses, bright sunshine etc for you blanking of a friend or colleague
- Avoiding using the other person’s name
Different strategies will suit different people and personalities. Actress Joanna Lumley talks of managing her own prosopagnosia at social gatherings by greeting everyone with a rapturous “Hello Darling!”.
The downside of covering up is it can give others a false impression of who you are, such as shy or absent-minded, but could help avoid the social awkwardness of admitting you don’t recognise the other person.
Different ways of recognising people
Prosopagnosics often develop alternative ways of recognising and remembering people. This can work well within a small group of students, work colleagues, choir members etc but is generally harder if you meet unexpectedly or out of context.
- Another person’s voice, mannerisms, gait or body shape
- Hairstyle, clothing, jewellery etc can be useful to keep track of someone within a crowd, but may well change between meetings
- Checking out photos before you meet up can help some prosopaganosics, but many struggle with matching photos to people’s faces
- Making notes about distinguishing features such as tattoos, scars, blemishes, piercings etc. as a way to jog your memory (perhaps in code if it gets personal!).
Some people may find that the friends that they get to know best are those with distinguishing features (as these are the people that they can keep most easily keep track of). This choice of friends has been particularly noted in children.
Social Manoeuvring
People with prosopagnosia often put a lot of effort into managing a variety of social situations. Whether it’s preparation beforehand (going through notes, seating plans, guest lists) or homework afterwards (trying to commit to memory distinguishing features) – it can be quite exhausting!
- Meeting up – be very specific about a meeting place, and arrive first (or last) so that others will find you.
- Note where people are sitting in a meeting
- Ask if you can have a list of attendees ahead of a meeting, wedding etc to see who you might know and be expected to recognise
- In a group, wait to join in a conversation until you have worked out who is who
- When you meet someone, open conversations with small talk or generic questions, to pick up some clues or confirm their identity before making personal enquiries
- Choosing your vocabulary carefully – for example saying ‘Lovely to see you’ rather than ‘Lovely to meet you’
Explaining to Others
In addition, as awareness of prosopagnosia is increasing more people are starting to explain their difficulties to others. This enables you to ask friends or colleagues to identify themselves when you meet, and even to recruit their help in identifying others.
A mix of approaches (explaining and manoeuvring) is likely to work best for most people.
Face Blind UK has a range of resources to help you explain and remind others that you may have difficulty recognising people – a Badge, an Alert Card and a series of Factsheets which can help to explain to others, as well as guiding them in how best to support you.